i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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