The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
