all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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