he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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