so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
