My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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