i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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