Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
