I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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