Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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