well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
