hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
