I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
