you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
