hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
