Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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