mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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