Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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