If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
