pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
