I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
