Whod you bang
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
