well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
