Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
