Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Watching her eat just hurts me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
