She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize