i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
