And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Can I color on your dick again?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
