Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
