Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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