Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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