you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
