Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
