I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
