i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
