We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
