I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Are we still banned from the library?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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