I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
