He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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