I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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