I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
