so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
