Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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