I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
