Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
