Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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