I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
