Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
