you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
