the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
