You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
