so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
