I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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