see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
