I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize