she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
