the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
