Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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