The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
