yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize