She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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