I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
