i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
