this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Can I color on your dick again?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
sex in a hospital.. check
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
