Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
