NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My dad is sitting where you rode me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
