You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
