I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
