i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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