Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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