apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
