can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
