I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
