Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
