do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize