6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
