To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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