Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
