Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She announced her abortion via fbk
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
