i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
