I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
