I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
