so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
