Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
