It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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